Auntie Mange

Seriously people, what's going on? So many of my coworkers now have dogs. They have even brought them into the office to show everyone. (It's complicated, don't make me explain.) I dogsat for my sister a month or so ago and now I'm dogsitting for some more friends this weekend.

Canines now run my life and I don't officially own any. I am uncle to my sisters' dogs and I'm an Auntie to my friends' dog. I have dogs coming out of my ears.

I really like playing with dogs, walking them, petting them, even grooming is kind of relaxing. But I don't know about owning one. I have a houseplant that by some extreme karmic joke has been able to stay alive nearly three years, in spite of my forgetfulness with the watering can. I dread forgetting to feed or water a dog. I guess I'm decent at it because this was the third or fourth time I've looked after my sister's dog, but it honestly scares the hell out of me.

Dogs in my opinion seem harder to take care of than children. At least the children eventually learn to read and take themselves to the bathroom. Hell, they even learn how to assemble a sandwich so they won't starve to death, but the best a dog can do for itself is go feral, and then it might just eat me.

But that's not what scares me the most. Anyone who lets a dog get that far obviously has too many other issues to look after a pet.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if anyone even THINKS of putting a puppy under my Christmas tree, just make sure you have a receipt so I can return it.

I'm allergic to Cashmere

Poor Lucy Liu. Cashmere Mafia had all the makings of a great series. But there's a reason it was held for mid-season.

The show was flatter than a pancake. The predictable plots were all very dreary and dull.

There were also scenes that had me leaping out of my chair to howl at the screen. First, the Caitlin character has had several failed relationships with men and she magically meets a woman who captivates her. I kid you not, the two women make eye contact and the soundtrack plays chimes. It was the cheesiest, most blatant pandering I've seen on a TV show in at least a couple of years.

That's when I said I was going to bed. I set the TiVo to catch the rest for me and I made time to finish it tonight.

The second howl-worthy moment came when the Juliet character learns that her friends saw her husband snogging another acquaintance. She launches into the speech of how she knew he cheated when he was out of town, but it was worse because it's someone they know. Then she justified herself for staying with him because the men who marry women like them give up the chance to have the ideal wife. To paraphrase, she said that because she makes more money and is more successful, her husband should be allowed to have an affair.

WAKE THE FRAK UP! What century was this woman from? First of all, if the man marries you, he should be faithful. That's kind of in the vows. Second, if he's cheating and you don't do anything about it, you are demeaning yourself by not doing something about it. Then later, instead of leaving him, she promises to him that she will 'take a lover' from their pool of friends to get even. If this is the way marriages operate in real life, something's definitely wrong.

The third character Zoë, is a hard-working mother of two with a working husband. She's at a crisis because she's in between nannies and barely has enough time for her kids. Bless her for trying to do it all, but the show made it look as though children were actually this woman's punishment for being successful.

The one redeeming quality the show had is that Mia, Liu's character, gets promoted to publisher over her fiancée and he breaks off the relationship because he secretly wanted Mia to be a stay-at-home wife. At least someone did something right. He was less than progressive for feeling that she should be for all intents and purposes barefoot and pregnant, but at least he didn't marry Mia under false pretenses.

At the end of the credits there was a shot of the familiar Darren Starr productions logo. He was behind Sex In the City, 90210, and Melrose Place. For me, the plots and characters were all just rehashed and mishmashed from those old shows. "Cashmere Mafia" is really nothing new.

Even though I consider myself amiable and open-minded toward entertainment, this is one show I really don't care for.

Family

I choose not to write about family, most of the time. I have a pleasant enough relationship with them, but I don't want to say the wrong thing and get yelled at for it, so I just choose not to write about them.

That being said, they are really nice people. My parents were especially nice about offering to postpone my birthday dinner due to the blizzard, but I insisted. It was actually a nice time. I had fun playing pool and I got Planet Earth on DVD, among other things.

This is just a post to say that I am thankful for them and their unfailing generosity.

What have I done for you lately?

The answer is, not a whole heck of a lot.

I have been lazy and selfish this weekend. I forked over $75 for my allergy meds on Saturday morning, and then I picked up breakfast at the BK. I have to say that the sausage croissanwich is still the bomb. Their new BKJoe line of coffee seems to be pretty good.

Then it was off to mom and dad's for my grandmother's 91st birthday party. Oy Vay, so many relatives. I got rolls specially made from the Bagel Station. They were the rosemary parmesan style that Henry's serves. I finally left about 3:45 p.m. and headed home. I forgot the leftover rolls and my iPod, so I called my mom and asked to pick them up today.

Last night, I had tickets to the Philharmonic, which was ghastly. I left with a throbbing headache from the screechiest violin concerto EVER. Then it was drinks at my friend Larry's until 1 a.m.

At Larry's I connected with a lesbian best friend of an acquaintance of my best friend. My Diety this town is sooooooo small. Anyway, Sara the lesbian regaled us with tales of gays openly serving in the military, which was heartwarming in a way. There are apparently several "stress management" support groups in which everyone is totally cool with you being homosexual, so long as you are physically fit and aren't a sissy. That leaves me out. Twice.

Then today, I slept in because of the headache from the symphony and the obscenely cheap wine. I watched a TiVo of Doctor Who from last week that I hadn't yet gotten around to and then I went to brunch. I then headed out to my parents and I explained how bad the concert actually was. I was after all using their tickets. I explained that I probably spared them a fate worse than death because it was not a good piece of music. The violinist is a regular and I knew from before how good he was, but I had to warn my parents to avoid anything by that composer ever again.

I got home and started working on articles for the newspaper. It's going to be hard getting everything in for tomorrow, but I got it. I also finished my essay for my philosophy of art class and watched a surprisingly decent episode of the Simpsons. They have all pretty much sucked out loud for the past two years, but this one saw homer get a stomach stapling, so it was funny.

Then I sat down and read Radar magazine.